Creaks, cricks, tightness, and pain in my knee

I’ve been too depressed to write anything about my non-existent training but the short answer is my knee still hurts and I’m not doing anything active until I get some answers.

I have been keeping a log of the random aches, pains, catching, clicking, inability to bear weight, etc. that has been happening since my last run Nov. 3 and the sudden onset pain Nov. 12. Every single day except for one, I have had at least mild discomfort. Most days I am in at least a little actual pain for at least a few minutes. I have been careful not to bend my knee too deeply, and I wear a wrap around my knee every day, and those two things help. But every day I am reminded that something is wrong.

Since I am still up and (mostly) walking I don’t think I tore a ligament. I am afraid it’s a torn meniscus. The potential for Things That Could Have Gone Wrong is huge – do I have a piece of bone floating around? Did I do serious damage to my kneecap or something else? Am I just a mutant and it finally caught up with me? I’m trying not to think about it. A torn meniscus is almost the best option, because at least that is (should be) fixable.

And no small part of my annoyance is the money I’m wasting by being injured. I got most of one registration back for a Black Friday race with a transfer, but was still out more than $50 for the registration I wasn’t able to transfer in time. I’m not using my Trainer Road subscription (although I just logged in and it seems pretty easy to suspend your membership). I have barre classes that will probably expire before I get the chance to use them. I ordered a new Garmin on Black Friday but I won’t be able to use it for running any time soon.

And and, I’m frustrated that this is happening NOW. The past 13 months or so was the year of getting my general health under control, and I was JUST starting to feel like myself again. Then, I do this and sideline myself again.

I’m discouraged, angry, frustrated, and sad. But I am also TRYING to be hopeful I’ll get some answers at my appointment Thursday and start moving toward recovery. Not being able to do anything is crapola and I hate it.