Real talk: I've been too sad to blog much

I feel like I've lost three friends: Swimming, biking, and running.

Sure, we didn't always get along, but I made time for them. I got up early for my friends swimming and biking, and most days after work I hung out with my friend running. The more time we spent together, the closer we got, and the more I enjoyed their company.

Then, this past November, I managed to run a fissure right into my knee's articular cartilage. Womp womp.

After a week in Costa Rica and almost two weeks not doing any training or PT, I officially canceled my Trainer Road subscription. Cycling in too high a gear still hurts, more than four months later, so there's no point.

I have now been doing PT at home and paying a huge amount out of pocket at a clinic for almost three solid months and I still have pain occasionally when I do something involving a lateral movement.

I can't swim without a pull buoy, because the force of kicking the water aggravates my knee.

And I haven't even tried running. My last run, the one that sidelined me with severe knee pain, was Nov. 3.

So if I don't come here very often, it's one of two reasons: I don't have much to report, and writing about not training makes me sad. Every time I see a runner outside it makes me sad. Admitting to myself that there was no sense in paying for a cycling training program made me sad. Having to swim with a pull buoy makes me sad. Feeling pain in my knee at the end of a long food prep day makes me sad.

In the meantime, I will work on being happy for what I can do. And I will work on getting my butt to the pool because swimming with a pull buoy is better than nothing!